Mob Squad: Episode 1 ScriptEdit

Mob squad pi

Episode 1

Cooper is walking through the forest

Cooper: On my daily stroll, oh. On my daily stroll. A stroll in the woods is so much fun when I'm on my daily stroll, oh. Oh hello Mr. Tree, hello Mr. Grass, hello Mr... what the f*ck.

He sees Steve come out of his house

Cooper: Oh my goodness, what evil is this.

Steve kills a nearby sheep. Cooper screams and runs off. The others are back at the cave.

Cameron: Who put that block here.

Phil: Cameron who the f*ck do you think put that block there. You. You're the only goddamn person here who can move blocks.

Cameron: I would never put a block right there.

Marcus: Cameron, you put the block there.

Phil: Yeah.

Marcus: You...

Phil: I said that. Marcus, Marcus. I said that.

Marcus: He put the...

Phil: He put the, he put the block there you're absolutely right now just sh...

Kirby: Now you boys quit arguing over there it don't matter if the boy put the block down.

Lyle: Let's just say if you didn't put the block there, where do you think the block then should go.

Cameron: (Talks with Cooper's muffled calls in the background.) Alright. Now we're getting somewhere.

Cooper: Guys!

Marcus: Cooper!

Cooper: You guys gotta come see this there's this thing in the forest.

Phil: Woa, woa, woa. What do you mean a thing.

Cooper: I ain't see nothing like it before but there's a creature living in it.

Marcus: Ooo.

Phil: But we've seen every creature in the land.

Cooper: You've never seen anything like this it's a monster.

Phil: Alright alright alright.

Lyle: What did it do to make it be a monster.

Cooper: He killed a sheep.

Marcus: (Moans)

Phil: Alright it might not be to bad of an idea to go there, introduce ourselves...

Cooper: You don't wanna introduce yourself to this thing, he's a vast murderer, he commited sheep genocide.

Phil: He killed one sheep.

Cooper: Yeah he killed the one. It was a holocaust.

Phil: Ok, that is not a holocaust. He killed one.

Lyle: Now listen Phil. What are we gonna about them right now.

Phil: There's gotta be an explination for why he killed that sheep, let's just go over there and talk to him.

That night they go over to Steve's house.

Phil: Ok, so this is the place.

Cooper: I'm staying back here, I ain't going anywhere near.

Phil: Alright, alright.

Lyle; How are we gonna do this.

Cameron: Mabye we should get in a line so when he comes out and sees the one guy...

Lyle: We don't want to make him feel like he's being threatened, mabye we should have someone who's a little bit more friendly looking.

Marcus steps forwards, Phil pulls him back.

Phil: No, definetly  no.

Marcus: I will..

Phil: No, nooo.

Cameron: Oh would you look at that block over there.

Phil: No, I'm not gonna look at blocks.

Cameron: I'm gonna move that.

Phil: Err, someone not scary, who's friendly. Err... Kirby!

Kirby: Yeah, I'll go talk to him.

Phil: Ok.

Cooper: He's gonna die!

Phil: Shut the f*ck up he's not gonna die!

Steve opens the door and sees Kirby

Kirby: Oh hello ther, my name is Kirby.

Steve continuously hits Kirby until he's dead



Everyone runs around screaming.

The next day everyone is back at the cave, except Kirby.

Cameron: Oh, they killed Kirby.

Cooper: Kirby's dead.

Lyle: What the hell are we gonna do here. What the hell are we gonna do.

Phil: This is our land damnit. There's only one of that Mother f*cker.

Cooper: Phil is right. This is our territory.

Lyle: We need a pack. We need to do something about this together.

Cameron: Right we need to make a vow right  here today.

Lyle: A vow.

Cameron: We will not sleep.

Lyle: We have to sleep. We gotta sleep a little bit.

Cameron: Ok, but we will not stop until this man is killed. Cooper: Are we a team now? What do we call ourselves?

Marcus: Team. Team, we're team.

Phil: No we're not just team.

Marcus: The team. Cooper: What if we're a squad.Like a Mob squad.

Marcus: Mmmmm.

Phil: Hey! That's good. Mob squad.

Cooper: That's good. I said it. I said it. It's what we are. It's final.

Phil: Alri...

Cooper: F*ck you it's final.

Phil: That settles it. We're the Goddamn Mob squad.

Cooper: And we're gonna kill that Mother f*cker.



Mob Squad theme song

Mob Squad theme song