Mob Squad: Episode 2 Script[]
The Mob squad is outside Steve's house
Episode 2
Cooper: So what do we do? What do we do Phil?
Phil: We've been waiting quite so time and...
Cooper: I know I aint seen him.
Phil:...I do not see this guy.
Cameron: I know he's in there. He was in there earlier and he's just been in there all day.
Phil: You know what. Let's just charge in there and beat the f*ck out of him.
Cooper: I'm with Phil, let's do it.
Cameron: Sounds good to me, just go in there and beat the living shit out of the creature.
Marcus: We're a te-eam.
Phil: Alright who's going in first.
Lyle: I'll go first Phil.
Marcus: I will go first too.
Cooper: Lets do it, give us a countdown.
Phil: Alright. Three.
Marcus: Three.
Phil: Two.
Marcus: Two.
Lyle: Two
Cooper: Two.
Phil: I was, I was gonna do that.
Marcus: ONE!
Phil: NO!
Marcus: ONE!
Phil: No no no!
Lyle: No no no!
Phil: Shut up. Here I'm gonna do it right now. Three.
Marcus: Three.
All: Two!
Phil: GO!
All charge into Steve's house shouting to find no-one in.
Phil: Ok.
Lyle: Aw shit!
Cooper: Where is he?
Phil: Where is he? Cameron! Get in here!
Cameron: Door's too small. Can't even fit in through there.
Phil: Just move one of those blocks out of the way.
Cameron: Aw hell no!
Phil: What?
Cameron: Just look at these blocks, they're just perfectly placed, every single one of them, I wouldn't mess up something like that.
Phil walks up to Steve's bed
Phil: Hmm. This things soft. I wonder if this is where he sleeps.
Cooper: (Sniffs) The thing smells like a sheep.
<Pause>
Marcus: SHEEP F*CKER!
Cooper: Aw!
Phil: Oh my God!
Cooper: Oh disgusting.
Lyle: You gotta be kidding me. He's been having sex with sheep.
Marcus: Sheep f*cker!
Phil: Oh my God. No no no. This is wrong.
Cooper finds an open trapdoor.
Cooper: What is this? It's like a hole in the ground.
Phil: Oh yeah.
Walks over and look down.
Phil: What's down there?
Steve is down there looking up.
Phil: (Screams) HOLY SHIT! RUN!
They all run out of the house screaming.
Cameron: Hey wait, wait, wait. Where's everyone going.
Steve walks out holding a stone pickaxe indicating the hole he was in was a mine.
Cameron: Well there he is. Hey. Hey I'm right over here.
Steve looks at Cameron slightly.
Cameron: So listen I was looking at... at the way you placed these blocks here and I gotta say I am a big fan of your work. What's the matter? Ocelot got your tounge?
Steve walks back into his house.
Cameron: So... Oh, oh. He just went back inside didn't he. Huh. What a funny fela.
END OF EPISODE
Mob Squad theme song-0