Mob Squad: Episode 4 scriptEdit

The Baby Cow is in the cave. The others are watching over him.
Mob squad 4 pic

Episode 4

Cooper: Hi there little sweetie. Hi there little sweetie it'll be ok.

Phil: Cooper do you have to keep that thing in here?

Cooper: His parents were killed! What do you want me to do?

Marcus: And he's cute.

Phil: I understand that, I-I would feel bad if he died, but here's the thing: It smells like shit in here.

Lyle: Yeah it does smell like shit...And piss, don't forget piss.

Cooper: Smells like an abandoned child.

Phil: Yeah well I just stepped in abandoned child shit, okay, and I'm tired of it, we need to put him outside.

Cooper: He ain't gonna bother anybody, he's just gonna lay down there in his own filth. He'll be fine

Lyle sees Steve destroying leaves and heading towards the cave.

Lyle: Hey w-w-wha. Hey guys wait a second, the monster's coming. Everyone hide!

Phil:Get back! Get back!

Everyone rushes behind a wall.

Phil; Shut up, shut up.

Steve comes in.

Marcus:(Makes a gargling hacking noise.) 

Phil: Wha?

Cooper: Shh.

Marcus: There's something in my throat.

Cooper: Stop, don't worry about it.


Cooper, Phil and Lyle: Stop!

Cooper: Oh god be quite.

Marcus: I can't help it.

Cameron teleports to them.

Cameron: Well hey there everybody.

Cooper: What!? Shh!

Cameron: Whut?

Marcus: Cameron we are being quite.

Phil: Shh. Start being quite. Don't tell him.

Cameron: We're bing quiet... why are we doing that?


Phil: OH GOD!

Cameron: Oh there look who it is! Well why don't we go talk to him. Why's everyone here being rude?  Being a bad host?

Cooper: He kills everything he sees,why would we go and talk to him?

Marcus: What is he doing?

Steve drops a Crafting Table next to the cave wall.

Cooper: What the hell... what did he just put... he put something in our house.

Cameron: You know what it is?  I bet it's a present.

Marcus: Ooh.

Phil: Oh yeah I'm sure that's... that's why he's here.  To give us a present.

Lyle: A present of death.

Phil: Maybe the same present he gave to Kirby?

Cameron: Too soon, Phil.

Steve plops down a chest next to the crafting table and opens it.

Cooper: He put something else down.  What is that?

Marcus: Ooh.

Steve starts mining coal blocks directly behind the crafting table and chest.

Phil: No.  No this is our home!  He's coming into our home, putting shit into our home!  That's not right!

Cooper: Calm down Phil.

Lyle: Keep your voice down.

Phil: No, no, I'm not gonna calm down.  This is bullshit!  I'm gonna put a Goddamn arrow betwen his eyes.

Phil walks out from behind the wall.

Everyone except phil: Phil calm down .

Phil: No you can't stop. This shit ends today!

Phil runs toward Steve and fires an arrow, hitting Steve.  Steve fights back with a stone sword.  The others rush out.

Cooper: You leave him alone!

Cooper flashes.

Steve runs backward toward the cave entrance.

Lyle: You better get out of here!

Cameron: Woah there. Wish we'd known you was coming we'd have cleaned up a little bit.

Cooper: Leave, motherf*cker!  Get out of here!

Lyle: Stand down. Steve runs out of cave.

All: (cheer)

Cooper: Yeah we did it!  We scared him away.

Lyle: We scared him away.

Marcus: Woo woo woo.

Cooper: He can't kill my baby.

Phil: Did you see what just happened?  We... ran his ass... outta here!  

Lyle: Yeah we did.

Phil: We got this, we got this  We're gonna own this motherf*cker!

Cooper: (standing in front of crafting table) Yeah but... but guys... What are these things he left here?

Camera centers in on chest and crafting table.